Crude Food

What? Tuna mayonnaise? That’s not crude food.. that’s just tuna.. and mayo..

Well then my friends! I’ll forgive you this time because you’re all going to be fairly new to the concept. Well: many people are because I’ve never blogged about my ‘adventurous’ ‘cooking’ before.

This one is a solution to the age old “hack mouth”. You know when you eat too much chocolate and you need a drink? Or you drink too much milk and you need to sort your throat out?

This is the equivalent, but for tuna.

What you will need:

- Tuna.
- Mayo.
- Apple (green preferably: not to worry otherwise).
- Fork/Knife/Spoon/Tin opener.

I’m going to give this one a 2/10 difficulty rating. IF YOU STRUGGLE WITH THIS MEAL, DON’T WORRY. THEY’LL BE HERE TO COLLECT YOU SOON!

So we’re going to use the knife on the apples. The spoon on the mayo. The tin opener on ..the tin.

Cut the apples into chunks (not too small, so that you can tell when you’re eating it (much like our sausages from the pizza beans)), and drain the tuna.

Take a nice dollop of mayo.

Put it all in a bowl.

Wait?!

The SAME BOWL!?!?!!!

Yes.. put it all in the same bowl. The effect that you’re left with is a good amount of tuna (mmmm.. healthy healthy tuna) without the taste being too overwhelming. Tuna can be dull at the best of times, and this spices things up a little bit so that you don’t lose interest before it’s all been eaten.

You balance the texture out with the mayo and the occasional (I’d say around 1.5 per fork-full) bite of apple. I understand this one is a bit strange when you first see it, but it’s something I’ve been fed since I was a kid: it’s damn good.

It’s really easy to make, relatively healthy, and it takes next to no time to shove it all in your face.

Tuna Mayo. Quick, easy, and good.

Crude.